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Sept. 26, 2022

The Lies We Live By: Shoulds…!!!

The Lies We Live By: Shoulds…!!!

In this episode, Cheddy and Michelle discuss: How the lies we tell ourselves about what we should be, have or do cause us to feel extremely powerful but negative emotions. They rarely benefit us in a sustainable and positive way. How “Shoulding”...


In this episode, Cheddy and Michelle discuss:

  • How the lies we tell ourselves about what we should be, have or do cause us to feel extremely powerful but negative emotions. They rarely benefit us in a sustainable and positive way.
  • How “Shoulding” ourselves can make us feel and how to identify them. 
  • We tell ourselves we “Should” ourselves for our benefit, but rarely is that the case.

Key takeaways:

  • The “you should… (be, have, or do something) by now” thoughts can cause us to feel like failures.
  • The “you should have known…” thought can cause the emotions, Cheddy calls “the triad of terror,” to present themselves in your life. Those are the negative emotions of fear, guilt, and shame.
  • Oftentimes the “Shoulds” come in a familiar voice and therefore are trusted and accepted with little or no objection.
  • This is not an excuse to not take care of your obligations and responsibilities. We must learn to discern between a beneficial and detrimental “Should” in our lives.
  • “Should” is “could” with SHAME attached to it.

“Be mindful of those around you and yourself and how many times you hear the ‘shoulda’ conversation… it puts you in a state of lack -and wanting and needing!” -Cheddy Matthews

“Watch how you ‘Should' on other people!" -Michelle Wickman



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